--- title: "Money Date Questions: An AI Prompt for Couples | Candor" description: "Prepare a money date with ChatGPT or Claude: the questions worth asking, a calm agenda from your shared costs and goals, and a worked example." url: "https://candor.money/explore/household-check-in" updated: "2026-10-19" --- # Money date questions, and a prompt that writes the agenda A money date goes better with an agenda: what you share, what changed, what's coming, and one or two decisions to make together. Ask your AI to draft it from your shared costs and goals, keep it neutral, and leave room for your partner's view. Here's a prompt for that, and the questions a good agent asks first. [Get the prompt↓](#try-prompt) What your agent needs The household costs and shared goals you choose to discuss. What you get back A neutral agenda with decisions, questions, and relevant financial context. When to use it Run it when you need it, or ask your agent to repeat it monthly. ## The prompt: How do we talk about money together? Copy the prompt into the AI agent you use with Candor. It works from your Candor records and asks for anything it's missing. New to Candor? [Connect your agent first.](https://candor.money/connect) Your prompt Help me prepare for a household money conversation. Use the finances I can access in Candor and ask which costs and goals are shared, what I want to discuss, and what should remain private. Prepare a neutral agenda covering current commitments, upcoming changes, competing priorities, and decisions we could make together. Do not assume another person's income, preferences, or consent. Keep the draft for me to review before sharing anything. Nothing runs until you send the prompt to your agent. ### New to Candor? Set up and start in one message Paste this into Claude, ChatGPT, or the agent you use. It sets up Candor and walks you through approving its access and connecting your accounts, then runs the prompt from your records. Set up Candor from https://candor.money/START.md and walk me through connecting it here. Help me prepare for a household money conversation. Use the finances I can access in Candor and ask which costs and goals are shared, what I want to discuss, and what should remain private. Prepare a neutral agenda covering current commitments, upcoming changes, competing priorities, and decisions we could make together. Do not assume another person's income, preferences, or consent. Keep the draft for me to review before sharing anything. ## Not on Candor yet? Versions for ChatGPT and Claude. These work from what you type in. With Candor, your agent reads the accounts you've connected, keeps the goals and decisions you agree on, and brings them back next month, so each check-in starts from what you decided last time instead of from memory. ### For ChatGPT Help me prepare for a money date with my partner. Use the shared costs and goals I list below, or the accounts I've connected in ChatGPT. Draft a short, neutral agenda: what we spend together each month, what changed since last time, what's coming up in the next three months, and two decisions we could make together. Don't assume my partner's income or preferences, and don't blame anyone for any spending. Suggest three open questions we can each answer. Keep it to one page. [Use ChatGPT with Candor](https://candor.money/connect/chatgpt) ### For Claude I'm having a money conversation with my partner this week. What we share: \[rent, bills, groceries, goals\]. What I want to talk about: \[topics\]. What I'd rather keep private: \[anything\]. Write a calm, neutral agenda we can both read, with the facts, two decisions to make, and open questions for each of us. Flag anything where you'd need my partner's input before drawing a conclusion. [Use Claude with Candor](https://candor.money/connect/claude) ## What will the agent ask you? A good agent asks before it answers. Expect questions like these, and answer the ones that matter to you. * Which costs are shared, and which are yours alone? * What do you want to raise, and what would you rather keep private? * What changed since you last talked: a raise, a new bill, a plan? * Is there a goal you're saving for together, and is it on pace? * What does your partner care about most right now, if you know? * Which one or two decisions would you like to leave with? ## What does a good answer look like? A worked example on sample data: a couple with joint rent and bills, a shared goal of $4,800 for a family trip next summer, and two streaming services. You We're doing a money date on Sunday. Can you put something together that won't turn into a fight? Your agent Here's a one-page agenda. First, where things stand: everyday spending is up about $350 a month since spring, mostly takeout and rides. Nobody needs to defend it; it's been a busy few months. Your agent Second, the trip. You have $1,400 of $4,800\. At $300 a month you get there after May; it takes about $457 a month to make it in time. Three options to talk through: put more in, push the date, or plan a smaller trip. Your agent Third, a small one: Netflix and HBO Max come to $38.48 a month together. Worth asking whether you both still watch both. Your agent Questions for each of you: What would make this year feel good with money? What's one thing you'd keep no matter what? Illustrative example with sample data, not a customer result. ### What Candor's weekly review raises for this household Once a week, Candor reads the records and notes and raises what's worth talking through, with why it matters and the records behind it. These are the areas it would raise from the sample records. Your agent brings each one up with you and works out the figures. * The summer trip is behind its pace Less is going into the summer trip each month than it needs to be ready by May. A shared goal slipping is the kind of thing nobody wants to raise first. Raised by Candor, with the records behind it, it becomes a question for both of you. * Everyday spending went up Everyday spending has run higher lately than it did earlier in the year. This is usually why a shared goal slips. Seeing it before the conversation keeps it about the plan. * Two streaming services Netflix and HBO Max both charge every month. Only the two of you know who watches what. Candor raises the overlap; you decide. The review also names what would change the picture. Your agent may ask about: who pays which shared bills; whether the trip dates are set. ## What does a weak answer look like? > Here are 20 questions to ask your partner about money: 1\. What did your parents teach you about money? 2\. Are you a saver or a spender? 3\. What's your credit score? ... * Generic questions with nothing from your own money in them. * Twenty questions is a quiz. Nothing gets decided. * Some of them put one person on the spot. ## Prepare a private agenda before sharing financial details A household conversation works better with shared facts and room for different priorities. Tell your agent which costs and goals you want to discuss and what should remain private. Candor supplies the records you can access; it does not establish another person's income, preferences, or permission to share their information. ### Check the answer * Review the agenda's facts and language yourself. Separate shared commitments from personal purchases and assumptions about someone else's choices. * Choose a small set of decisions to discuss, and leave questions open where you need the other person's perspective. ### Choose a next step Edit the draft before sharing it. After the conversation, tell your agent what you agreed, and it updates your budget or goals and tells you what changed. ## Where Candor fits Your agent works through the question with you, builds the plan, and keeps you on it. Candor gives it your real accounts, exact figures, and the goals, budget, notes, and decisions from earlier sessions, in whichever agent you use. Every week its review raises what's worth talking through and tells your agent why. Candor is not a licensed advisor and gives no advice; your agent does the advising, and the decisions are yours. * Read-only: Candor cannot move money. * Candor never sells your financial data or trains models on it, and you can export or delete it. * Every agent read and change is recorded with its reason. [Start free trial→](https://app.candor.money/signup)[Connect your agent](https://candor.money/connect) $0 today · card required · cancel anytime ## Common questions What questions should you ask on a money date? Start with what's shared and what changed, then what's coming in the next few months, then one or two decisions. Good open questions: what would make this year feel good with money, what you'd protect no matter what, and what's worrying either of you. How often should couples talk about money? Pick a rhythm you'll keep. Monthly is often enough that nothing piles up and rare enough that it doesn't feel like an audit. A quick look at upcoming bills can happen weekly on its own. Can AI help couples talk about money? It can do the prep: gather the shared numbers, write a neutral agenda, and keep track of what you agreed. The conversation is still yours. Ask it not to assume your partner's income or preferences. What does Candor keep between check-ins? The goals and budget you agree on, your agent's notes on what you decided and why, and the records behind them. Candor is read-only, never moves money, and records every read and change your agent makes, with its reason. ## Keep exploring. [Where I standWhat should come first?Make sense of competing goals, debts, and things you want from life.One-time or quarterly](https://candor.money/explore/financial-priorities)[GoalsWhat budget could I actually live with?Start with your actual spending and make room for what matters to you.One-time reviewFull guide](https://candor.money/explore/realistic-budget)[GoalsAm I on track for my goals?Know when your savings pace and target date need another look.One-time or monthly](https://candor.money/explore/goal-progress) ## Ask it with your own numbers. Connect your accounts to Candor, then send this to the agent you already use. It answers from your real records and keeps the plan for next time. [Start free trial→](https://app.candor.money/signup)[Connect your agent](https://candor.money/connect) $0 today · card required · cancel anytime